


Stop Asking Me To Stay

by iwaoiangst



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Childhood Friends, Crying Oikawa Tooru, Falling Out of Love, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up, Jealous Iwaizumi Hajime, M/M, Pain, Realization, Sad Ending, Understanding, iwaoi - Freeform, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2019-07-05 12:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15863727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwaoiangst/pseuds/iwaoiangst
Summary: "It was a gradual process, a slow burn. Hajime had noticed the changes in his heart, but his mind was still in denial. He refused to believe that the person he thought he wanted to spend his life with, wasn't Tooru anymore."-The truth hurts, but sometimes letting go is for the best.





	Stop Asking Me To Stay

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short and simple story I made about falling out of love. It was made overnight as the idea spilled from my brain onto my laptop so I'm sorry for the lack of storyline.
> 
> BTW to avoid confusion, the timeline of this story is iwaoi is in their final year of college?? maybe??? and they are in different universities (both in Tokyo) but they share an apartment together.
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy it even if it's short and (not) sweet! Lol

" _This is never ending, we have been here before. But I can't stay this time 'cause I don't love you anymore. Please stay where you are. Don't come any closer. Don't try to change my mind. I'm being cruel to be kind."_

_-_

Hajime didn't know how it happened. Or when it happened. Or why it happened.

It wasn't like he woke up one day and thought,  _"I don't love him anymore."_

It was a gradual process, a slow burn. Hajime had noticed the changes in his heart, but his mind was still in denial. He refused to believe that the person he thought he wanted to spend his life with, wasn't Tooru anymore.

There wasn't a specific moment where Hajime could pinpoint and say, "This is the moment that made me fall out of love." Maybe it started with little things. Then, it slowly builds up and comes to a head, even with Hajime's constant denial of the truth.

Maybe Hajime had loved him for too long. 

Maybe it was Oikawa’s terrible personality. His over-the-top competitiveness. Maybe it was his crude jokes towards Hajime’s ever-present scowl.

Maybe Hajime couldn’t stand his overly flirty nature anymore.

Once upon a time, all these traits were ones Hajime adored. He thought that his personality was humorous, his competitiveness impressive, his smile charming.

But they were just a bit _too_ different. They were like red and violet, fire and ice, always on the opposite side of any spectrum.

Their stark differences used to earn them the title of 'Dynamic Duo'. Sure, Hajime's mother-like personality always kept Oikawa's overt-competitiveness at bay. Sure, Hajime's levelheadedness always made sure that Oikawa's childishness never goes out of control. 

But other times, their differences create a strain in their relationship. Hajime is selfless, too selfless. Oikawa is aware of this, he knew that Hajime could not say no to him and he used this to his advantage. Even little things like always pouting when Hajime didn't want to go out to the club that night. Or when Hajime wanted to stay in bed instead of watching the new sci-fi movie that came out this week. Hajime had skipped a week of class when Oikawa was sick, just to take care of him. This cost his a failed exam and a horrible attendance score.

Those were little, insignificant things. But when Hajime stopped denying and started to think about it, they weren't as insignificant as he thought they were.

When Hajime wanted to watch the new Fast and Furious movie, Oikawa had dismissed him with an excuse of not feeling too well. Hajime would've brushed it off if Oikawa didn't go out with his friends the next day to get drunk til' 3 in the morning.  Hajime was always willing to watch his stupid alien movies with him, _why can't Oikawa do the same for him?_

When they were supposed to go out for their anniversary that night, Oikawa suddenly sent him a text the afternoon of the date which read ' _Sorry Iwa-chan, can our date be postponed til' next week? My friend is treating us sushi for his birthday!_ (≧ڡ≦*)' Hajime wanted to scream, break a vase or something. Instead, he only called Oikawa's favorite fine dining restaurant-that he had reserved 2 months prior-and apologize to them for canceling on such short notice.

These little moments gradually build up and started to leave an ache in Hajime's heart. _I've sacrificed so much for him. Why can't he at least be a little bit selfless for me?_

-

Just a few months ago, he wanted to propose to Tooru. Get him a ring, a nice one, maybe with a big diamond on it- Tooru loved expensive things. He wanted to get married to Oikawa in a chapel, maybe. A quiet celebration with only close friends and family. Well, Tooru wouldn’t have settled for quiet. He’d want a big reception with cakes and champagne and hundreds of people. They were always quite the opposite.

Hajime wanted them to buy a house together, get a dog or two. He wanted to adopt a child and raise them with Oikawa. He wanted a daughter he could smother with love, he wanted a son he could shower with praises. But Oikawa never really liked kids.

He wanted them to grow old together, to live a full life with each other.

It never came across his mind that one day he’ll not want all that anymore.

With someone else, maybe, but not with Oikawa.

-

Nobody saw it coming. 

People thought that it would be Oikawa who would leave, not the other way around. Oikawa had always been the player, the popular one. Hajime had always had an inkling fear at the back of his mind that Tooru would find someone better and leave him alone to rot.

Hajime had always loved Tooru. At first, it was friendly love, but along the way, the feelings changed.

It wasn't until after the first year of college had Oikawa realized- after spending a year apart from Hajime- he couldn't live without him.

Until then, Hajime's love was very much one-sided.

-

 

Their last days were bland and cold. Deep in his heart, Hajime still cared for Tooru. It just wasn’t the same as it was before.

It wasn’t the burning passion, the fiery kisses, the warm embrace.

Now, it was just cold, _cold, **cold**_.

Hajime knew, if he were to stay and keep quiet, they would be miserable. He would be miserable. This time, Hajime didn’t want to be selfless. 

Hajime never wanted to hate Tooru. He couldn’t. He wasn’t going to let that happen.

This was for the best.

-

Tooru came home from uni one day to see Hajime staring at the wall while sitting in their dining room.

Tooru didn't even have the chance to complain about today's classes when Hajime spoke, clear and without a hint of uncertainty, "I don't think this is working out anymore. I want to break up with you."

There were a few seconds of silence as the words settled into Tooru's head. Then, it clicked.

“Why?” Tooru cried, “I thought you said you’d love me forever!”

It didn't take long until his shoulders racked with the heartbreaking sobs he let out.

Hajime couldn’t look him in the eyes.

“I’m not sure myself,” Hajime tried shrugging. It didn’t feel right. “I just fell out of love, I guess.”

Tooru’s sobs got louder. Hajime couldn’t stand to hear his pain, but he knew this had to be done.

His decision wasn't something he thought of a few minutes ago. He had been carefully thinking over this for weeks. Months even. It was final.

Hajime didn’t want to trap Tooru in a cage where it will only hurt them both. He couldn’t do this to Tooru. He deserves better. So Hajime told him.

“You deserve better.”

Tooru stared at Hajime as if he’d gone mad.

“But I don’t want better! I want _you_ , Hajime!” Tooru screamed, tears still flowing out of his eyes.

“I _need_ you.” He added quietly, no longer shouting but whispering with the faintest of voices.

Hajime shook his head. Once. Twice. “You don’t _need_ me. We are not co-dependent, Tooru. We should learn to live without the other. I've packed my things up, don't worry I'll move out.”

Hajime knew that this hurt he had caused was unrepairable. He didn’t want it to end like this. He wanted them to grow old together and to be separated only by death.

But fate had other plans. Hajime fell out of love, and he is still coping with the fact that the person he thought was his _forever_ , was not going to be his forever.

Tooru would hate him, that’s for sure. But Hajime thought he could handle it.

After all this, Hajime knew things will never go back the way it used to be. Hell, he doubts that Oikawa would ever want to see his face at all, let alone be friends.

This broke Hajime. He almost talked himself out of his decision because he didn’t want to lose his best friend. But at the end of the day, this was what should be done.

It was better than staying in a relationship when one has fallen out of love. It was a matter of time and Hajime had always thought it was best to rip it like a band-aid than slowly falling apart and losing sanity.

Sometimes, things don’t happen the way you plan them to be. Sometimes, it’s okay to be selfish. Sometimes, people fall out of love, and that’s **_okay_**.

-

_"You have given me something that I can't live without. You mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt. But I don't want to carry on like everything is fine. The longer we ignore it all the more that we will fight. Please don't fall apart. I can't face your breaking heart. I'm trying to be brave. Stop asking me to stay."_

**Author's Note:**

> The quotes at the beginning and the end of this story is from the song 'Love in The Dark' by Adele and I think the lyrics fit this story pretty well. Again, I'm sorry for the lack of storyline but I just wanted to get this angst out of my head :)
> 
> Please leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed this story, I would greatly appreciate it!


End file.
